


Secrets

by JustLyra



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 01:31:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLyra/pseuds/JustLyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heikki has a secret and Sebastian is desperate to know it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

Remind me why we’re here again?"

Nico was sure his voice sounded grumpy to Seb, but it was nothing in comparison to the grumbling his knees were doing from kneeling behind the wall for so long.

"Because we want to know who Heikki’s mystery woman is!"

Seb’s voice had that ‘why are you asking stupid questions’ tone that was incredibly irritating to everyone except him. Realising his error he turned to his fellow German with a slight smirk on his face before before his next comment.

”Anyway, I know you’ve been on your knees for far longer than this before so stop moaning.”

Grinning lewdly at the blush creeping up Nico’s neck he turned back to peer over the wall, desperate to catch a glimpse of his trainer and his mystery lover.

***

Heikki was one of life’s players. He was the classic blue eyed, blond haired, muscular figure that women seemed to love. Luckily for him he was also blessed with both the gift of the gab and outstanding instincts. Within a few minutes of conversation he got the measure of most women. He could easily tell which ones needed to be laughed into bed, which needed a deep conversation and he also knew which ones simply not to bother wasting his time with.

In the year they’d worked together Seb had heard stories about his seemingly endless stream of women. He’d laughed at tales of drunken fumbles, been shocked by stories of outrageous sexual acts and he’d been highly amused by the couple that Heikki had had to work harder to shake off than he had to pull them originally. One thing never changed though - Heikki was a talker. They spent a huge amount of time together, more than either of them spent with anyone else, and usually when they weren’t talking about professional matters they were talking about Heikki’s antics.

Seb could remember clearly the moment that changes. He’d spotted the red mark on him while they were training, instantly noticing the obvious imprint of teeth. It was discreetly below his collar, but their positions during training gave him a glimpse. Enquiring about his trainer’s evening Seb was perplexed by the statement that he’d had a quiet night in watching television.

***

”I don’t understand why he has lied to me.”

Nico couldn’t help rolling his eyes. He steadily heard Seb’s tone change whilst making the same statement over the past few weeks. He’d started off finding the idea of Heikki having a proper relationship funny, but now he seemed to be insulted somehow.

”If it’s new they probably just want to keep it to themselves. You understand that surely?….”

Giving the other man a wry look Nico continued, “We didn’t tell anyone….”

”Yes, but I…..”

Seb’s protest faltered as he remembered the day that Heikki found out about him and Nico.

***

”Are you sure that no-one will come in?”

Knelt on the floor of Seb’s private room Nico punctuated each word with a lick around Seb’s swollen end.

Tugging on the hair tangled in his fingers he somehow managed to gasp out that they were all gone as the hot, wet mouth finally enveloped him in glorious pleasure. Nico had wrapped one hand around his own leaking cock, roughly stroking himself while his mouth and other hand brought Seb closer to the precipice.

To say that Heikki wasn’t expecting to walk in on Seb being sucked off by Hulkie, while he was on his knees wanking himself was, quite probably, the understatement of the season. He’d left his phone in the room after giving Seb a massage and his plan was simply to nip back into the garage to get it. He didn’t knock because….. well because Seb had yelled goodbye to him over an hour ago and was, Heikki thought, long gone.

When Seb gasped and tugged his hair harded Nico simply thought he was trying to aim his climax for his face - again - so he ignored it and sucked harder. The litany of German and Finnish swear worked brushed across his ears virtually unheard for a minute until a cold realisation made him jump backwards with a yelp.

For a few moments they all just started. Them at Heikki - wide eyes, mouth gaping, hands holding up his collected phone as if there was a need to prove he hadn’t deliberately walked in; Seb’s big, blue orbs slicking between the two other men, his shirt dishevelled and his hard-on quickly covered with his hand; and Nico, who was just the very picture of sex - dishevelled hair, swollen lips, crumpled shirt and trousers around his ankles.

Heikki was the first to regain his composure. Giving the pair his cheekiest look as he backed out the door…

”Oops, don’t mind me boys.”

***

Eventually Nico ignored Seb’s protesting and left his post behind the wall. For all they knew Heikki and his date could have left out another exit or they could have been having watching a movie marathon. Either way one hour in the cold was as much as he was prepared to stand. Walking back towards the motorhomes Seb was clearly in a huff. Nico wasn’t entirely sure if it was over his refusal to keep stalking Heikki or if he was bothered by Heikki’s relationship. It had started to really bother Nico that Seb was so bothered by it.

”Have you got feelings for Heikki?”

The words were out before Nico really thought it through. He and Seb had long since agreed not to label their relationship or to pressure each other, but they had been together for a while now and he wanted to know where he stood. He didn’t mean to sound so needy and the incredulous look on Seb’s face as he stopped dead in his tracks to gawp at him didn’t make him feel any better.

”What?”

Nico didn’t really want to repeat it, but he didn’t really have any choice. So he did, and just hoped that he didn’t get the answer that he really didn’t want.

”Why would you even ask that?”

Seb’s voice was low and stunned. He couldn’t believe Nico had asked that. He looked at him incredulously for a moment and then he seen the flicker of worry on Nico’s face.

”No…. Not at all Nico…. Not at all.”

After a few moments silence Nico tried to hold his voice steady as he reignited their conversation.

”I had to ask.”

”Why?” Seb’s voice was still low and quiet.

”I just had to know.” Nico’s wasn’t much louder, or stronger.

”Why would you even think that?

”It’s just…. you are so….. obsessed with Heikki. With who he is seeing…. I just thought….”

”I’m nosy…… and…..

Nico’s face fell, but Seb quickly caught his arm to stop him walking away.

”And what then Seb?” Nico tried, but failed, to keep the hurt edge out of his voice.

”And I’m annoyed” Seb was exasperated now. “I want to know who is so special that he can’t even trust me to know.”

Nico’s sigh could be described as one of relief or one of exasperation, but it was actually one of both.

”Seb…. For fuck’s sake…. He’s entitled to his privacy.”

”I know, and I’m not expecting him to tell me all the gory details.” Ignoring Nico’s raised eyebrow he continued on…

”I’m annoyed…. no offended that he can’t even trust me enough to say he has met someone……. I know I’m a chatterbox, but I’m trustworthy. I trust him with everything - my career, my family and you…. And you know I was going to tell him about us, he just…. you know…. He doesn’t trust me back and that hurts.”

Being in public Nico could give Seb the hug he wanted too. Seb couldn’t give Nico the kiss he wanted to either so they had to settle for an apparently friendly pat to the arm and a knowing look. Heading back for the motorhome where they could each reassure the other they didn’t notice Heikki and his secret lover coming out of the cinema behind them.

***

Lying in bed trying to catch his breath after a particularly vigorous seeing too from Kimi, Heikki groaned as he felt the mark on his neck.

”Fuck!”

”Again so soon?” The teasing tone brought a petulant scowl to his face.

”I’m not going to be able to hide this from Seb.”

”Then don’t.”

Propping himself up on his elbow Heikki traced his free hand over the taught muscular stomach.

”It’s not that simple.”

”Why isn’t it?” Kimi’s voice took a sharp edge now.

”He’s not going to be against you liking men because he has Nico….. He can’t object to you seeing someone from the paddock because, again, he has Nico…….. So I can’t see anything for Seb to object too…. So unless the issue is that you don’t want to tell Seb because you have a thing for him and don’t want to ruin your chances then just fucking tell him because I’m sick of hiding.”

Trying to rescue the situation Heikki brought his mouth to Kimi’s ear and tried to be as sultry as possible.

”I thought you liked the danger of sneaking around?….”

”I’ve had enough of it.”

Heikki was left stunned when he was suddenly left lying in bed alone and winced as the bathroom door slammed closed making it clear that Kimi was showering alone.

It seemed like a simple sentence ‘Hey Seb I’m seeing Kimi’, but it wasn’t. It was more complicated than Kimi realised. Heikki just knew how it would go. Outwardly Seb would pretend to be fine, supportive even. However in time, maybe not this season but eventually, excuses would start to flow from Seb and before long a statement would be released containing phrases like ‘mutual consent’, ‘professional reasons’ and ‘all the best for the future’.

If, no when, that happened Heikki would have to find another job away from F1. Over time being away from the paddock would see his relationship with Kimi start to fall and Kimi would end up using phrases like ‘drifted apart’ and ‘not enough time.’ Kimi believed that if he just told Seb then it would be the beginning of something good, but Heikki knew that it would be the beginning of the end.

***

Three races later Seb was starting to struggle to hide his annoyance. Not only was Heikki not confiding to him, but he was actively lying to him too. Claiming a migraine to avoid drinks with the team, but being hungover the next day. Insisting he’d stayed in to watch tv despite telling bruises on his hips and claiming random dentist appointments to fill his free time in Switzerland.

Nico urged Seb to bring it up with him, but Seb was adamant that he wouldn’t. He wanted to find out exactly how little his trainer trusted him so he was adamant he wouldn’t say a word until Heikki told him.

Heikki never had the chance to tell him. Kimi and Heikki rarely took chances, but a victory for the racing Finn seen them all drinking a lot in celebration. It was a dark alcove and it was a quick kiss. A quick kiss that shouldn’t have been seen by anyone and shouldn’t have been a big deal, but it was…. and it was…

***

”You should have fucking told me Heikki!”

Kimi was livid. Livid that Heikki hadn’t told him, livid that Seb hadn’t told him and livid that Heikki still hadn’t told him before that session. Kimi could see right away after the crash that Seb’s head was wrecked and by the look of pure guilt on Heikki’s face he knew that his lover knew what was going on.

Seb had hired Heikki to take over from Tommi and the pair had hit it off instantly. Seb’s biggest worry about losing Tommi was that he wouldn’t find someone he gelled with so well to replace him. When you spend that much time with someone the ‘click’ of the relationship is just as, if not more, important as the professional qualifications. They were a good match right away, Heikki seemed to have an instinctive ability to know how, when and how hard to push the German. Away from the track they shared interests in films, music and sports.

In a karaoke bar a few weeks after walking in on him and Nico the Finn got his first taste of drunk Seb. He was maudling over his recent poor race, he missed Nico (who was off on a promotional thing) and his family’s obsession with his need to ‘find a nice girl and settle down’ was bringing him down.

”I could love Nico…. I think…. In time….”

Seb was slightly slurring his words and his hands were moving animatedly as if to emphasise his point.

”I’ve only loved one other person so I don’t know if this is love….. I mean is any love the same as your first love?”

Heikki could only laugh at the pitying look Seb gave him when he said that he didn’t know because he’d never been in love.

”I loved Kimi…. He’s straight though. No chance with him….. I’m over it now….. He’s my bestest friend….. But he’ll always be special you know?……”

***

”I’m sorry.”

Heikki wasn’t sure why he was bothering to apologise. He knew it made no difference. Seb hated him for lying to him. He believed that Seb felt betrayed by him going near Kimi in the first place even though Seb said he didn’t. He had never meant it to be like this. He wanted it all - Seb’s friendship and Kimi’s lust, but he’d lost them both.

"I don’t like secrets Heikki."

Kimi would never forgive him. He knew Seb was in a state and he let him drive. You never mangle a driver’s head before they get in the car and Heikki and Seb had words just before the session, but Heikki let him drive. Seb made the choice to drive, but Heikki didn’t stop him. None of the driver’s would forgive someone for letting another driver be put at such risk, especially not Kimi.

Walking away Heikki knew he’d lost them both.

**Author's Note:**

> All fictitious. Previously posted on my Tumblr


End file.
